never ending sleep

I love sleep.

I could sleep forever.  It feels like I could anyway.

Today I got out of bed about 2.30pm, and then I had to drag myself out.

If I didnt, I wouldnt be able to sleep tonight.  Although, even when I have been awake all day, it doesnt mean I will sleep anyway.

I didnt get out of PJs all day.  I did take a break for a shower though.

I watched some movies.

The Wolf of Wall Street starring Leonardo DiCaprio.  Not a bad movie.

August – Osage County starring Meryl Streep, Julia Roberts, Ewan McGregor and a few other well known faces.  A drama about a pretty messed up country family.  A bit blah.

I watched Dallas Buyers Club yesterday starring Matthew McConahey, Jared Leto and Jennifer Garner.  An interesting movie.

And Blue Jasmine starring Cate Blanchett.  OK, but a bit drawn out.

wolfofwallstreeaugustdallasblue jasmine

challenges partially delayed

Well so far the challenges I mentioned in my post Challenge – A good start to 2014??? have not come to fruition.

I was going to start yesterday, as they are 30 day challenges and there are 31 days in January.

I slept really badly the night before and in the afternoon had to have a sleep, because I felt really, really crap and anxious from barely any sleep.

Sleep doesnt seem to like me very often.

I should have done the in the morning.

Today, I slept in and then went to the doctors to have a growth on the waist, front part of stomach and now cant do anything to rip the stitches for at least two weeks.

It was not a fun experience.  It’s like when I go to the dentist or have an injection and its like Im eight years old again and fear being poked and prodded and being cut up.

Although the GP injected three areas around the growth with a local anesthetic, the sensation of the cutting and stitches, was not really to my liking.  There were a couple of areas that the anesthetic didnt quite reach, which quite uncomfortable!

It is now quite sore and will be taking a drug with codeine in it at night time for the discomfort.

Good news, I will live 🙂

 

This does not mean I cant do all of the challenges, I think I could do the crunches, but probably not the sit ups or push ups, until next month.

the off switch

I really wish I knew where this was!

I laid in bed for ages last night and my mind would not switch off.

This happens on a regular basis.

Lucky for me I dont have to go to work today.  Although when this happens I seem to wake up early too.

Does anyone know where the off switch is or how to turn it off without the switch???

I dont know if it is a feature of depression or not.  I know it can be.

I had too many days off over the last couple of years due to this.  It would cause high anxiety and I couldnt go to work.

One day I woke up early after a night of this and went to work and I was OK, and now I can go to work with little sleep.

Im not sure why on that day I was able to jump this hurdle, but what a relief that I did, so I dont have to take a day off work.

Now I just have to work on leaving the house not being so exhausting and draining.

last night

Kitty has been unwell again lately.

He has some kind of stomach gastro, which makes him throw up dark, grainy globs of stuff.

He had a blood test and am waiting for the results to find out what it is.

This made me quite stressed last night, as he has been noticeably flat the last few days.

About the only thing that makes me cry is when he is unwell and I am worried he might die.

I dont want to have to live without him, as I love him so much.  Maybe too much???

I cant believe how much more I love him the longer I have him.

He is 13.5 years old now and we seem to get closer as time goes by.  He follows me around everywhere and lately became a lap cat, which is somewhere he has never seemed to like sitting.  He has always like to sit close to my side.

He is getting soft in his old age and I love it.

So, I found it hard to get to sleep because I couldnt stop crying and had to get up to stop me thinking about what I would do if something happened to him.

So I slept late and was woken up with breakfast in bed by bf (first time in nearly eight years!). He said it is the second time, but it must have been SO long ago, I have no recollection of it.

I think the stress has made my stomach play up today as well.

It is 7pm and I am still in my PJs.  So quite a lazy day and nothing constructive was done.

Although, my kitties have been sitting with me most of the day, which I love.

Bless their furry, little socks 🙂

Xmas Leave Sleep

I started my leave on Wednesday the week before Xmas, and have spent most of that time asleep.

Im so drained.  I drag myself out of bed anywhere after 11.30am and 2.30pm, and even if it is mid afternoon it is still sooo hard.

bf has no idea what I am doing, as he is at work.

I sleep more than the cats some days and they try and get me out of bed, with a cute paw on the face or a not so cute walk across my stomach.

I just cant seem to get enough sleep.

I want to feel energetic and motivated like I used to be.

I know too much sleep can make you tired, but whether I have a few hours, eight hours or twelve hours it doesnt seem to make any difference.

I hope the new drug Allegron help.

Zzzzzzz….

mid week update – not much to tell…

All of Monday morning I had a sore stomach and felt nauseous all day.

On Tuesday I was feeling better and was only tired from going to bed around midnight.

I received my applications forms and police check forms for the voluntary compeer job.

I rang the lady who was the contact to ask if it mattered that I have depression and anxiety issues.

She advised that it definitely wouldnt be a factor that would stop me from volunteering.  Im glad she said that, I was a bit worried that I would be able to volunteer because of it.  I think suffering with these conditions is one of the reasons I volunteered.  I understand what it is like and also understand the stigma of having a mental illness in society.

She advised we would discuss it in the interview and they would have my therapist as a contact.  I advised her I dont have a therapist, that I control it only with medication.

If you get accepted after the interview, there is a two day course to complete.

Should be interesting.

Other than the compeer update, there is not much to tell so far this week. A bit blah really.

When I get home I just want to sleep (but what’s new), I guess going to bed after 11pm does not help.  I will have to try to get  to bed earlier.

I find it hard to go to bed early.  I always seem to find something to do to pass the time and end up going to bed late and cant get out of bed in the morning.

But other than that, this week has been OK.

Hope all your weeks are going OK.

i did it!

I actually did the next part of the Couch to 5K app!

Im not sure what came over me, where the motivation came from.  I wish it would happen more often.

I found another song to add to my treadmill songs.  It is an Australian group called Justice Crew.  They started off a a dance crew, but have released a single.

I burnt 450 cals in half an hour.  Not bad, as Michelle Bridges says you should burn 500 cals a day and eat 1200 cals a day.

I wish I had the willpower to eat less than that, so I could lose weight quicker.  I only want to lose about 10kgs.

Im not sure what I way, because Im too scared to get on the scales to see how much weight I have put on.

Well my four days off turned into 5 days.  I didnt go to work today. 😦

All I can think about is sleep, sleep and more sleep.

I wish I didnt think about it so much.  It is like I am obsessed with if it was a good sleep, a bad sleep, was it enough sleep.

I went to bed about 10:15pm last night and slept well, but could not get out of bed and slept until 11:30am ish.

I am always tired and so sick of it!

But other than that today was a nice, relaxed day with my kitties.  Lovely weather.

I watched the first episode of Dexter Season 7 and the first episode of the latest season of Criminal Minds.

I also read a few blogs, I hope to catch up one day.  Im not neglecting anyone, I just cant keep up!