a bit of a scare

Yesterday, early evening I was watching a movie on my laptop, when I heard glass smashing.

I got up to sneak a look out of the back door and saw Morpheus looking down the side of the house and I noticed one of downstairs window fly screens hanging sideways.

My mind and anxiety went into overdrive.  I thought they were being broken into, as it had happened to a previous neighbour downstairs before.

I started to freak out a lot and became quite scared.

So I quietly closed my back door and rang the police.

I was so scared.  

I rang bf and he didnt answer his phone twice, so I rang his work number and asked them to get him, as it was urgent.

I then rang a friend who lives a couple of suburbs away and asked her if she could stay on the phone with me until the police arrived, because I was so scared.  Her husband was home (who I have known for over 10 years and is how I know his wife) and she said she would come over and he would call me on his moblie until she arrived.  Bless her.

I fear someone breaking into our house and am not sure how I would cope, having it happen in my “home”.  My safe place.

I have feared this for a long time.  Even now seven years later after the armed robberies, when I get off at the bus stop and walk home, I look over my shoulder to make sure noone is following me to my “safe place”.

I think one of the reasons I freaked out so much, is because of the two armed robberies I was in, when I worked in an RSL club as a Duty Manager.

I would have no safe place anymore and I just dont want to have to go through that again.  Im not sure, especially at the moment, if my strength would hold up and keep me going.

Even now going through it in my mind, I can feel my anxiety increasing.

The police turned up and checked downstairs and neighbours houses to see if anyone had been broken into.  They hadnt.

My imagination running wild it seems.

Better to be safe than sorry, if it was a break in.

I had the back door open and the thought of the possibility that someone could have come in the backyard (if it had been a break in), did not help my anxiety.

Thankfully, bf did not go to trivia with boys.  It is a regular Wednesday night.  He did ask if I wanted to go with him to trivia.  Hell no!

I couldnt possible socialise in my state.

I was a bit shaky for a couple of hours after that.

What helped me relax was reading the reviews from this link re the effects of eating to many “sugarless” Haribo bears.

It may be that we have a disturbed sense of humour, but we were in tears of laughter.

I cant remember the last time I laughed so much!

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safe & warm

It is really cold and the wind is blustering hard outside today.

I didnt go to work.  I felt quite anxious when it was time to get up and had that all over “unwell” feeling that I have never been able to describe to a doctor or therapist.  I dont know what it is or how to better describe it.

So I slept in and I woke up around 11.20am.  Kitty was there as always and when I closed my eyes again he put a paw on my face, which means “Get out of bed Mum and give me milk or bikkies or something”.  So I did.  Who can resist a cute furry face.

Im in my favourite place,  my safe place (home), sitting in the lounge with the heater and my blanket and the two kitties with a cup of tea, catching up on my fellow bloggers updates, to see how you are all doing.

It is sad that a lot of us are not having such a great time and “we” are such a small portion of the world, so I cant even imagine how many other people are also going through hard times, but we can only hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel for everyone, because everyone deserves some peace in their lives.

This blog by Make Up & Mirtazapine is a simple idea but made me smile.  Such a nice idea.

http://makeupandmirtazapine.com/2012/08/08/youre-all-invited-to-my-tea-party/

Hope this helps give someone else a smile.