so much to do

Everything is going way to fast.

I dont know where all my time goes.

Other than work, dinner, shower & bed, I dont know where it goes.

I will be doing three Xtend Barre classes a week, but I still want to read a book a week, like I was doing for the last three months of last year.

I havent done much blogging or  reading this week.  I want to read more of your blogs.

I like to read other people’s blogs, too see what everyone else is up to and to see how you are coping and how you cope.

I want to study this year, but my brain is still to foggy for that.

Monday night is recovery night after the first day of work of the week.

Tuesday will be Xtend Barre at 6.15pm and then go home, shower, eat and probably go to bed early.  bf will be at fencing.

Wednesday, bf goes to trivia with the boys.  I used to go, but a couple of them ogle at women like theyve never seen legs or skin before.  Theyre married and they make it seem like theyre in prison.  I think they should think what it would be like married to them!  Theyre nice guys, but really…

Wednesday will be Xtend Barre at 7.30pm.

Hopefully the PTSD programme will help with this.  I think tomorrow is week 3 of 10.

They use cognitive thinking methods, to help train the thought process to go through a more positive process.

Last night I did the 7.30pm class because we were meeting a lady that might clean our apartment, as we dont have a lot of spare time and I dont want to do all the cleaning.

I managed to sneak in a 45 minutes – 1 hour power nap before the class.  Im sure I could use that hour better with blogging or reading.

Thursday would be a good night for studying or blogging.  Blogging only at this point, until the fog subsides.  Some Thursdays I will meet up with some of the girls that dont go to fencing much either anymore and have some bouts of fencing.  Maybe every second Thursday, depending on who is available.

Friday is both of our nights off anything, so we will chill or go out to dinner.  Last week we went to a new Japanese place.  It was good, but did not beat our favourite.

Saturday is my sleep in morning until 11am and then off to a Barre Camp class for 1 hour and 15 minutes.  After that if the weather is good I will do some washing and hang it out and tidy up a bit.  During the week we tend to not put everything away, bf is the  bigger offender of this.

I sit in the backyard and get some sun if the weather is good.  I could then blog or read or if I could ever study again, study.

Saturday night is either chill or go to dinner if we didnt on Friday.

On Sunday I have been making the effort to get us up early and we go to feed the ducks at the Park and have an egg & bacon roll and a coffee or go to a cafe for brekky.

Then for the rest of the day, bf might do some washing and I will do whatever.  I dont know where Sunday goes.

And then we do it all over again…

still here

Hi All

 

Im still here.

I hope you have all had a good year and not had too many struggles.

Ive been in hibernation for quite a while.  My depression is still here.  I feel like Im flatlining.  Not many highs or lows, just flatline.

On some days I have off, I stay in bed until mid afternoon and dont get out of my pjs.  Just soooo tired.

I dont go out too much, I get to work most days, but its still a struggle to leave the house some days.  It can be so exhausting just to drag myself out of bed, get dressed and go to work or any events in general.  I have distanced myself from my family, just because it can be so hard to deal with, except my sister.  My sister struggles with depression and we are the only people we know who understand how we feel.  She knows she can tell me anything re how she is and I understand and dont judge.  We think Dad has distanced himself from us too, as we dont hear from him and when we do talk to him, he keeps it short and sweet.  Too hard, so we dont care too much these days.

My beautiful kitties are still beautiful and I love them more and more each day, if that is possible.  I love them more than anything else in the world!

Bf has had some grumpy moments this year, but is doing OK lately.

I wish I had not gone into hibernation from here, as it would be interesting to read back and see how I was feeling.  Im sure when I read back on my posts from the beginning it will be an interesting read.

I am going to try and blog more and read your blogs again.  I just wish I could kick my motivation into gear.  I have had no motivation at all this year.

I did get back into reading around September, I read one book and have read a book just about every week since.  I havent read books for the longest time.

So fingers crossed I can kick my motivation into gear!