When a hurdle comes up, not easy ones, ones that cause stress and elevate my depression and anxiety.
The first thing I think of and wish for is for it to be over. I just dont want to have to deal with this crap anymore.
Today, I managed to drag myself out of bed. It was a little easier because kitty was making a racket and wanted to go outside.
Work was going OK until…
There are two contractors that have been here for at least 2 -3 years in my team. They like to have chats (“bitch”) with each other about the amount of time I have had off work over the last 18 months. They are contractors, why do they care? It doesnt affect them in any way. Do they seriously think I do it because I couldnt be bothered coming to work and if that was the case, it is none of their business. They get paid and it’s not like they do the work I do when Im not here.
Our Team Leader, who is also a contractor, and only went into that position when our previous Team Leader left. I am finding mostly that he is an easy person to work for/with. I mentioned to him that the reason I have had so much time off is due to medical reasons and he said he didnt know. I wonder why he thought I was taking so much time off?
I just dont need this shit from anyone. All I need right now is something else to stress about and which will bring me down again. F**K!!! It always seems to be one hurdle after another. Why cant people just mind their own business and just work as a team. There is definitely a lot of “I”s in this team.
They have their own thing going on between them with work and I have no idea what they are doing, they dont communicate with me what they are doing, so when I do something and I havent told them and they get pissed off. They dont tell me, so how the F**K am I supposed to know.
I wish kitty and I could go to sleep and never wake up. It would be so much easier.
F**K I hate people! They make life so fn difficult. (There is a small percentage of people I dont hate). But the majority of people are selfish and it’s all about them and they dont give a shit about anyone else.