more difficult times

Our work restructure has been going on since late last year.

I took a month off over Xmas and was feeling better when I went back to work.

That was short lived.

The restructure has been very draining.  Lack of transparency and little communication from Management.

Many of my colleagues and myself have not obtained jobs in the restructure.  A lot of us have been there for at least ten years and we have been a good team.

It has left me feeling worthless and worried about what will happen and if it will affect our finances.

My depression has become worse.  I have no confidence in myself and feel that the good work Ive tried to do over the last decade has been pointless.

I went to see my GP today and admitted that the only reason I am still here, is because my cat will wonder where Mummy is.  We have been together for nearly 17 years.  The GP asked about my partner and I told him, he would know what happened to Mummy, but kitty wouldnt.

Ive even started thinking that my partner will look after kitty and kitty does like him (not as much as he loves Mummy), but would probably be ok with him.

If only I could go to sleep and never wake up.  It would be so much easier.