still here

It’s been a long time since my last post.

I have had the motivation of a chair and just couldnt be bothered doing much at all.

It has also been a long, tiring journey between my last post and now.

I am still here because my kitties are still here and I cant abandon them.

They are 16 years old this year and I love them more and more everyday.

The doctors changed my medication again early last year, because yet again the previous one wasnt helping and changing medications is not a fun ordeal.

The new drug Zoloft (sertraline) did help for quite a while.  It did not help my sleep at all for the first few months.  Once my sleep evened out, I wasnt as tired as I had been for the last few years.  It was great not to feel tired all the time.

The last couple of months, I started to feel tired again and my mood flatlined again.

A couple of weeks ago, due to an arrogant colleague, I dropped into that deep, dark place again and started having sleep issues again.

I did my research online and increased my medication by 50mg.  I went to the doctor the next week and they suggested increasing my medication by 50mg and gave me temazapam to help me sleep.  I didnt tell that I had done it already the week before.  I missed a week of work and didnt leave the house for days.  The temazapam hasnt helped my sleep, so Im going back to the doctors today to see if they can give me something else.

Im still not loving life.  Im only here for my kitties.

I wonder if the depression will ever go away for good…





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