binge

I have not been binge drinking for a few months now.

I just stopped suddenly.  Bf and I went and had a few drinks on a Sunday night with a couple of friends, and we all got very merry.

Bf drove us home.  A very silly thing for him to do and very silly of me not to stop him.

I did not end up going to work the next and when I have a hangover, my anxiety and panic pay me a visit for the next day or so.

A few nights later RBT was on TV.  (Random Breath Test).

A show about police pulling people over and testing them for drink driving or driving under the influence of drugs.

Something clicked in my head.

Since then I have not felt the need to “get on it” and waste myself on alcohol, so I could make everything go away.

Maybe once or twice when I have had maybe one or two drinks more than my usual two, I briefly think about “getting on” the tequila, but then discard the thought.

Ive even stopped smoking cigarettes when I drink.

I think about it briefly, then quickly talk myself out of it and its not even that difficult.

Im glad Ive finally made it through that stage of healing? another healing stage of the  ptsd?  who knows?

All I know it is for the better.

And I am bound to get a bit merry in the future, but at least now it is controllable.

And thankfully I am past that awful gambling stage I went through, which apparently is also common in people who are suffering from ptsd.

That was a very expensive phase.

I wonder what the next phases of healing are…

 

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