a grim start to the day

On Monday morning at about 3am I woke up and couldnt get back to sleep for a while.

I realised that I had not taken my medication for two days, which may be one of the reasons I had been crying over everything.

I messaged my new Director boss if I could work from home and I received quite a terse message in response.

I slept until about 2pm, when kitty meowed at me and meowed some more, so I got out of bed and gave him some attention, love and milk.

Today on my way to work I was not looking forward to work, after the terse message.

I was thinking of that statement the other day “at least when your dead the pain stops”.

I actually thought of a new, tidy way to end my life.  Lots of valium and go for a swim in the sea. I imagine I would become very drowsy, sleep and drift off.

My two new bosses are clearly trying to make our lives at work as difficult as possible.

If only I didnt need to work.

I came home and bf was on his computer with his earphones on an all I got out of him was a “hey” and not much more before he went to fencing.

Not a great day overall.   I just couldnt be bothered, so going to have a shower and go to bed early.


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