Ive been listening to 30 Seconds to Mars a lot of the last few weeks.
Years ago when I was having really bad panic attacks I was listening to Savage Garden to get me through it. Their music is not my usual.
Particular songs make me cry. I can feel my heart hurting.
Something I am not used to. For the last couple of years the Pristiq made me feel nothing. Numb.
City of Angels, This is War, 100 Suns, Hurricane and a few others make me cry and I feel the hurt inside.
I listen to them when I am feeling depressed or anxious. To help me get through what I am feeling.
I do miss feeling numb, so I dont feel the hurt, the pain, the depression, the anxiety…
I sat on the back stairs last Friday night and just listened to their music and watched one of their videos, because I was feeling so much anxiety and depression. I used it to make me cry and to get past the emotions I was feeling.
I needed something to distract me from the scary thoughts that run through my head. Suicidal thoughts scare me.