why does 30 seconds to mars make me cry

Ive been listening to 30 Seconds to Mars a lot of the last few weeks.

Years ago when I was having really bad panic attacks I was listening to Savage Garden to get me through it.  Their music is not my usual.

Particular songs make me cry.  I can feel my heart hurting.

Something I am not used to.  For the last couple of years the Pristiq made me feel nothing.  Numb.

City of Angels, This is War, 100 Suns, Hurricane and a few others make me cry and I feel the hurt inside.

I listen to them when I am feeling depressed or anxious.  To help me get through what I am feeling.

I do miss feeling numb, so I dont feel the hurt, the pain, the depression, the anxiety…

I sat on the back stairs last Friday night and just listened to their music and watched one of their videos, because I was feeling so much anxiety and depression.  I used it to make me cry and to get past the emotions I was feeling.

I needed something to distract me from the scary thoughts that run through my head.  Suicidal thoughts scare me.

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