a little breakdown

I slept well again last night, but as usual was still tired when it was time to get up and get ready for work.

I was still feeling dizzy and finding it hard to focus, which was making me feel anxious, so had to take Valium again to even try to focus a little.

I found it really hard to focus and do anything.   I have so much to do.

When I was at home I was feeling dizzy and anxious and then all of a sudden I burst in to tears and couldnt stop.

The dizziness is making me feel really anxious and it is a bit disconcerting.

Fortunately the medical centre I have been going to is open until 9pm, so I rang and was able to go down there straight away.

I had another crying episode when I was with the GP and had to wait until I stopped to tell him why I was there.

He advised to not up my Allegron as planned tomorrow and give it another week before increasing the dosage.

He advised that my heart was racing and asked if I had any Valium I could take.  I do, so I took some when I got home, as I was bawling and quite anxious and couldnt stop.

I wont be able to go to work tomorrow.  I dont want to be bawling at work tomorrow.  People will think I have lost it.

The crying and anxiety has exhausted me somewhat, so an early night and rest tomorrow will hopefully help, so I can go to work on Thursday.

I bothers me quite a lot, that I have to take a day off work already and Ive only been back two days.

Bf was at fencing and was going to be there until about 10pm, so on my way back from the doctors (a short walk up the road), I rang him and asked him to come home.  I didnt want to be on my own feeling like this.

When he came home I burst into tears again.  He said you know everythings OK, which I know it is.  I told him the drugs are having this effect on me.

Even know Im having random moments where I want to cry, for no reason at all.

I hope the new drug Allegron kicks in soon and works its magic stuff.

Im pretty tired now from feeling all over the place, so should go to bed soon.




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