pristiq

Im slowly saying goodbye to Pristiq.

Im down from 200mg to 50mg.  Five days of 50mg and then I add 25mg of Allegron for a week and then add 25mg each week until I hit 150mg.

So far so good.  I havent felt too bad.

I got a bit testy with bf for about five minutes.  I dont know if this was the reason or not.  He wasnt being unreasonable or being a “dick”.

I wont miss some of the side effects though.

My stomach has been like an unused cement mixer, that the cement has gone hard in.  So hopefully I wont have to take laxatives anymore.

I am always hot!  Im like a mobile heater, which caused a lot of sweating, so I had to use the “scientific” clinical protection to control my armpits from sweating, with a combination of the “No Sweat” concoction, which you had to make sure you wiped off in the morning.  Im not sure why, but I did just in case my armpits fell out!  Must be quite toxic, but it helped.

My “hotness” also caused me to be thirsty, ALL the time.  I felt like I had was in the desert and hadnt had a drink for days!

BUT, it did help with my anxiety and I have stopped having panic attacks.  What a relief!

It also stopped the constant black, black, suicidal thoughts.  How and when to do it was something I thought about a lot.  At least I didnt do it.

I love my kitties SO much, that the thought of leaving them without me (Mum) and not understanding where I had gone and them missing me, is the only thing that stopped me from actioning my black thoughts.

It hasnt fixed the depression and feeling nothing.  It’s like Im empty.

I get spikes of warmth with my kitties and the odd spike at something funny.  Not much makes me laugh.  A comment my bf made when I laughed at someones joke on New Years Eve.

Im dead on the inside.

So I guess I will see how Allegron goes, when I start taking it on Tuesday and see what gradually happens.

Fingers crossed!

Id so like to feel again (I think).  Maybe feeling nothing is easier.  It is rare for to cry and that I like.

The only things that make me cry are my kitties if they are sick, seeing animals on tele that are sick, hurting or they die.  Mums and children dying from cancer, probably because that is what happened with my Mum a few years ago.  And not much else.  Terrorism makes me sad, humans hurting other humans.

 

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