Since this bout of depression started in 2010, I have gone from a nice size 10 to a not so nice size 13 in my jeans and not so nice medium sized tops.
I dont know if it is from the drugs, lack of exercise or food, OR a combination.
When the weather is warmer (now) I dont eat that much, but I still dont seem to get any lighter.
I feel so gross. I really want to be a nice size 10 again.
I feel so unattractive. Weight and the lovely bags I now have under my eyes, like my parents. Not much I can do about them.
I feel so ugly.
I guess as I am older now as well, its not like anyone is going to look at me now anyway.
My days of boys looking at me are long gone. I cant remember catching anyone looking at me for a long, long time.
Not that I am interested in finding another man, but it would be nice to feel like a nice size 10 and doing OK for my age.
I guess getting old and more unattractive is inevitable.
At least I met bf before I got fatter and uglier.
Im not sure why he stays sometimes. He is nine years younger and we have been together nearly eight years., but I still think he is hot.
I would have thought he would have traded me in for a younger model by now. I know he could get one and a much more attractive one at that!
I dont want to be so fat fat fat anymore 😦 I was used to being slim all my life until a few years ago. It sucks 😦
BUT Im sure a lot of people out there have much more serious issues than my fatness. I should be happy for what I have.
Why cant we be happy with what we have. Im certainly better off than a lot of people…