still here

Hi All

 

Im still here.

I hope you have all had a good year and not had too many struggles.

Ive been in hibernation for quite a while.  My depression is still here.  I feel like Im flatlining.  Not many highs or lows, just flatline.

On some days I have off, I stay in bed until mid afternoon and dont get out of my pjs.  Just soooo tired.

I dont go out too much, I get to work most days, but its still a struggle to leave the house some days.  It can be so exhausting just to drag myself out of bed, get dressed and go to work or any events in general.  I have distanced myself from my family, just because it can be so hard to deal with, except my sister.  My sister struggles with depression and we are the only people we know who understand how we feel.  She knows she can tell me anything re how she is and I understand and dont judge.  We think Dad has distanced himself from us too, as we dont hear from him and when we do talk to him, he keeps it short and sweet.  Too hard, so we dont care too much these days.

My beautiful kitties are still beautiful and I love them more and more each day, if that is possible.  I love them more than anything else in the world!

Bf has had some grumpy moments this year, but is doing OK lately.

I wish I had not gone into hibernation from here, as it would be interesting to read back and see how I was feeling.  Im sure when I read back on my posts from the beginning it will be an interesting read.

I am going to try and blog more and read your blogs again.  I just wish I could kick my motivation into gear.  I have had no motivation at all this year.

I did get back into reading around September, I read one book and have read a book just about every week since.  I havent read books for the longest time.

So fingers crossed I can kick my motivation into gear!

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