motivation, or lack of…

I have been reading others posts when I get time.

I havent been posting much due to lack of motivation to do anything.

While bf is at work on Saturdays, I sleep and lay in bed all day.  He has no idea I do that.

I postponed fencing this week because I could just not be bothered to leave the house.

If I didnt have to work I would probably hardly leave the house at all.

But today I convinced myself to go to the solarium, walk up to the end of Enmore Rd and caught the bus from there instead of walking home, because it was really windy and there was a possibility of a storm.

When I got home I even went for a jog/run/walk on the treadmill and sweated my ass off!

Moments of motivation are very few and far between.  I wish there was a drug that could make me more motivated.

I really want to be more motivated.  There are things I would like to do, but I cannot not leave the house, let alone get out of bed or get off the couch if I make it that far.

I actually did a 5 day week last week.  That has not happened much this year.  It is such a struggle and I am exhausted by the end of the week.

I feel flat.  Bored with life, bored with the routine. Flaaaaaaaat.

 

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2 thoughts on “motivation, or lack of…

  1. Bugger Kat! …I’m sorry to hear that!. Still you did a great thing by getting out of the house!
    Getting to where you are now doesn’t happen over night. You must have been dealing with Depression for a some time now? BTW: Are you having any sort of counselling?…Keep as active as you can, I know it’s not easy but you will feel better for it! I wish you were around the corner, we could go walking together! *hugs* …Paula xxxxx

  2. I do great just getting to work everyday. It is such an effort. It has been about two years now, since this bout of depression started. It is wearing me out . I dont see any time of counsellor, as they are very expensive. I wish I had someone like you around the corner so we could help motivate each other and have a laugh 🙂 Thanks Paula

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