I still feel flat, flat, flat and other than my kitties, bf and blog, life still feels dull, dull, dull.
BUT, I am definitely better than I was. I actually smile at people I dont know sometimes and even had a chat to a lady that I have seen at the bus stop many, many times and I have hardly said “boo” to, until yesterday. We had a nice chat on the bus about everyday stuff.
I would still rather stay at home in bed with the kitties all day.
Home is my “safe place” and my kitties are what have kept me from leaving this life. I would never leave them without their Mummy.
When I went to the Black Dog Institute last year and completed a couple of very long questionnaires, I was told that I am mildly agoraphobic, which didn’t surprise me at all. It made a lot of sense.
Hopefully the meds will at least keep me at this level. I can exist with this, less depression and no panic attacks or anxiety. At least I am making it to work more often now. It was going to start to become a problem if I kept missing work any longer.
It would be nice to feel “normal” or what I imagine “normal” feels like. Excited, motivated, energetic at times and maybe even not bored.
Maybe that comes when I am told I can stop taking the meds. The doctor did say that eventually I shouldn’t need them. I cant imagine it actually.
So who knows if it is going to get better than this? The doctor made it sound like I would be very motivated and more energetic, but I’m not feeling that yet.
Im on the maximum dosage for Pristiq, so I’m not feeling very optimistic. I can feel another drug coming on in the future. 😦
I have been motivated to do a Foreward and one chapter of my book. Yey! That’s a start.
If you’re reading/following my blog/s, I hope you’re finding them interesting enough and it’s not too boring.
I’m enjoying all your blogs 🙂