thoughts

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listening

to Chester (Linkin Park) on the way towork.

Today is one of those days where it still fills me with a deep sadness inside that he is gone forever and I will never be able to see him live again.

I can only  imagine how it must feel for his friends & family.
I’ve been listening to their live albums everyday since he passed.  Their sound is indescribable.

I’m feeling a deep sadness inside today, whereas yesterday was a better day.

The usual rollercoaster.

The new drugs are not making any difference so far, other than making me tired and make me stutter sometimes.

Hopefully work will take my mind off things.

i want out

but I dont want to leave kitty without his mum.  Kitty is 17 and wouldnt understand why I was gone and noone else would love him and treat him the way I do.

I researched getting helium gas and it is so easy to get your hands on.

I wasnt meant for this planet where humans make other peoples life miserable, just because they can.

Ive said for a long time I was dropped on the planet and am regularly reminded of how horrible a lot of humans are.

sh*t week

My new manager is making my life hell.

It seems that he has got it in for me and is not playing nice.

Restrictive hours, no flexibility on location and even docked my pay! when i used my accrued holiday leave when I was off work sick.

I didnt get a medical certificate because I didnt want him to know I was seeing a shrink.

I hadnt formed an opinion based on what many other staff had said previously about him, but now I see why most people dont like him.

He likes people who suck up to him and are “yes” people.

Im too old for this shit and being treated like this.

Im praying for VR (voluntary redundancy), so I can get the hell out!

Why are so many people out to just other people miserable…